Menopause.

The feeling of brain fog became a million times worse yesterday when I saw an amber traffic light and didn't know whether it meant stop or go and for a millisecond I actually was stressed.

I mean who hasn't ever been stressed by a traffic light. I'm coming to terms with the impending end of my fertility, to be quite honest with you that I'm happy about, because I barely survived my three loons. let alone the option to procreate when decrepit.

However it's almost as though he up above loves to create more of a shit show than we could ever have imagined, not only does he make women go through trauma every 28 days, give birth where we are squeezing the equivalent of a melon out of a milk bottle top, but when he chooses for the drama to stop, he doesn't do it gently.

I thought I was Ill last week as I had a temperature turned out that I was having one god almighty hot flush, I digress back to the traffic light, stop start.. with joyous two second intervals where I didn't have shiny droplets of sweat dripping down my forehead creating trails of mascara which settled sweetly into the wrinkles, which are also spreading. I started off calling them laughter lines. They are now more like caverns representing impending doom.

To make it even better, I'm going bald, EVERYWHERE! It's like someone has said look she's no longer fertile so fuck it, let's strip everything that makes her feminine, I mean who enjoys sex when they can't have children, so let's remove that option and replace it with a need for fans draped round her neck, big knickers and incontinence pads. Knock 'em dead love.

I've had to buy a heat controlled pillow now.

And don't even mention the poxy ky jelly... it ain't happening.

Happy Friday 😂😂